Naptime?

Yes, it's naptime right now. That's when I get most of my photography work or blog writing done. But guess who's not sleeping. It's an hour past the time I put him down. This has been the norm lately. I don't know what I'm going to do when the baby comes. I won't have the time or stamina to keep going in there and making sure he's in bed or whatnot.
He climbs on his changing table.
He pushes the buttons on his monitor.
He opens and closes his closet.
He turns his fan off and on (which will soon be the light because we won't need the fan on anymore).
And to know that I took him all the way into town today to go to the park to play, for quite a while I might add... I know he's tired. Eventually he's going to fall off the changing table and hit his head or worse. I really just want to take everything out of his room, make it like one of those isolation rooms in a jail, padded walls, nothing in it, white. That's it.
Here's I'll add some pictures of the last week or so...
Most of these pics are...of the park!!! Or parks.




And this is the way he repays me. I remind myself that it's just as hard to deal with adults, however, in the workplace. You have to repeat yourself just as many times, they do things to annoy you just as much, etc.
Oh, here's another day at the park.

I didn't take any pictures today. Just wasn't up to it.
You can stop reading here if you don't want to know anything about how I'm feeling. In fact, I suggest it. I'm just going to type it out so I can read it and see it and tell myself to get over it.

I'm 37 weeks pregnant. Let me just start off by saying that I know millions upon millions of women have gone through pregnancy, most of them more than once (or will in their lifetime). I know this.

I DON'T CARE.

It doesn't make a difference in my life or my experience how many people have suffered through this "miracle of life" crap. It doesn't. Think about it, when you got married, did you care how other peoples' big day went? Or when you went on that exciting trip or experience, like skydiving...did you care how it was for others before you? Probably not (except if they splatted on the pavement). You're focused on YOUR experience, because, really, that's what matters most to you. Others' experiences do not make you feel better/worse about your situation.
Everything hurts, and that's what I told the tech when she asked me if I was having any pain yesterday. I think I made her nervous, but we all know that if she'd actually been through a pregnancy, she'd know what I meant. Everything hurts, everything is uncomfortable. I will never go through this again. Seriously, I think if I end up with another cesarean, I'm honestly considering just letting them do whatever they do to make me never have another child. I'm sure my body is cut out for this, but my mind, not so much. I don't like it. "The last month is the worst." Yeah. And the first three months were the worst. And last last couple months before my last months weren't great. So that leaves me with a couple months that I actually got to enjoy. How would you like to enjoy a couple months out of NINE. I think I said this last time I was pregnant, I don't get those sympathy bellies. DOES NOT COMPARE AT ALL, I don't even know why they exist. Actually, I do, a man thought it up and it still exists because of that. HE thinks they are comparable.
And I KNOW I don't make life easy for Chuck or Aaron. At this point, I know I'm unbearable half the time. And it doesn't make me feel good, it only makes everything worse.
So, physical pain, check, emotional pain, check.
I told Chuck that at this point I'd rather be tired and comfortable than uncomfortable all the stinkin' time. I'm not a chronic pain person. I don't do well with it, whether it's my own or not. I just want to get back (or forward) to my new reality,
my new norm,
my new schedule.
I'm a schedule person. While I was in Hawai'i for 3 weeks I LOVED it. It was so relaxing, I got to read, shop, anything I wanted because Chuck was at the hospital for 12 hours a day. And it was sunny. All the time. But I was ready to get back to reality, my schedule, my norm. Even if it was without Chuck for a while longer. There was no norm with him at that point anyway because it was so random and sporadic that year.
My feet hurt.
My back hurts from tiredness and stress.
My abs hurt from being stretched all the time and being sick hasn't helped that with sneezing and coughing and blowing my nose. Doing all of those things require a certain amount of abdominal contractions and at this point, they just can't do it.
My belly button hurts. I inadvertently press my belly up to the changing table to change Aaron's diaper and it's actually painful.
My feet hurt from the extra weight.
My legs, and arms, are swollen. I'm so glad it isn't as bad as it was with Aaron.
My shoulders hurt, I think from the extra weight in front.
My ligaments hurt.
My head is starting to hurt.
My chest hurts from the heart burn. Never had that before, it feels like I'm a dragon! And sometimes I feel like a dragon.
I'll stop complaining. I just wanted to get it out and hopefully it won't be long. I'm sure you are, too.