Morning

Mornings used to be my favorite part of the day. I get up, sometimes super early so I can work out but that's out for a few days because of a small procedure I had, and then the best part is drinking my coffee and reading the blogs I follow. It's (practically) the only quiet I get all day. 

Now I feel like the quiet is suffocating me. All I think about is everything we have to do, sign, decisions that have to be made, appointments we must go to or have yet to make, last minute travel plans we are anxiously waiting to make. There's more but it all seems to run together.

Last week our spring break got off to a rough start. Chuck received an email basically saying 'here's a (short) list of people who are up for deployment, someone volunteer quickly or we will pick someone.' 

We've gotten emails like this before, a few times over the last year. Chuck keeps getting nearer and nearer to the top. And this deployment was relatively short so we did what we thought necessary and smart: volunteered.

June. That's all we know but we don't know what it means. We know a general amount of time. We know a general location. 

I knew it was coming. I KNOW I'm not the first one. Not even among my friends. I won't be the last. But I feel like I am both. I feel like such a fish out of water. Total unknown for who knows how long. New everything. I feel like everything has to have a new way of working. And it's overwhelming. I know things will get done. 

So mornings are a rush of thoughts, lists, worries, distractions. Surely not the relaxing time it once was.

So, that's it for now.