Mama's girl

That doesn't even begin to describe it. We've drowned together before I even knew we were in the water. First, it starts with "Mommy, I have to tell you something." Then, it's "I want you to check on me." Next, it's "I want you to talk with Daddy, then brush your teeth, then get your jammies on, and them come check on me." And not until the incessant crying, the numerous "I have something to tell you"s, the demanding that I follow a strict routine and then come to check on her (in her defense those were things I told her one night that had to happen before I could come check on her) and we also were told...strike that...I was also told to leave the light on in the hallway for "this many minutes". 

And it's the crying while being dropped off in the nursery at church, then it's the crying in the car in anticipation of the nursery at church, and then the anxiety attack at home at just the thought of getting up the next morning to go to church and spend and hour in the nursery. WITH SOMEONE SHE LOVES!!!  

It's been building for a couple months. I should have seen it coming. I should have heard the sirens going off signaling "YOU'RE HEADED DOWN A SLIPPERY SLOPE AND YOU'RE GONNA BREAK AND ANKLE IF YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION!!!!"

I remember going to Something on Ice with my girl scout troop in grade school. For a while Mom was in charge of my troop so anything we did, she went. Then mom wasn't in charge and I was in someone else's car with someone else's mom driving and I'd never done that before. I remember crying. And I remember her telling me not to worry. I assume I stopped crying and everything was fine because I'm alive and well today writing this blog post. But I remember missing my mom. 

I have a hard time discerning when to be loving and gentle and understanding (with whatever stage she's in, whether it be afraid of the dark or having separation anxiety) and not putting up with her whining and crying and demanding her way. I want her to be strong, confident, trusting in me, etc. I do not want her to think she can tell me what to do and how high I'll jump for her.

Today was Chuck's responsibility to drop her off on the nursery. 

A couple reasons:

1. The gym was a disaster. Monday was 20 minutes to drop her off and get out of there, Tuesday was 10 minutes, Wednesday was 5 and Friday was finally zero. Where IT HAS BEEN NUMEROUS TIMES BEFORE!!

2. I knew she was going to cry and be clingy and was going to inform me of how many minutes I was going to spend in the nursery with her. 

3. Because I wanted him to. Isn't that good enough??

He finally saw just how frustrating/high intensity/ etc. this attachment is. That was it, she was going to spend the rest of the day with Daddy. WHA??? Yes!!!!

I was able to run to the mall, do things I'm not physically able to do with children (no, the body piercer will not allow children into the piercing room, even to change out a piercing), and heaven forbid spend 10 minutes or less in Target. I think this needs to happen more often!!

Tonight ended with a suggestion of Mommy coming to check on her which was quickly squashed into a "she may come check on you if she decides to do so." There was not freaking out when I turned off the hall light when I was done with it after 5 minutes. Tomorrow we shall see how the gym goes. But things have got to change around here!! Pray for us.