Since I had just written about this about a week ago, I thought it would be fitting to copy this joke here. Just a little laugh for today!
This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that can be explained using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. (just a side note, this isn't even true, it will go to all individuals in America, taxpayer or not)
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
If you purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.
3 comments:
I vote for spending the money on tattoos!
I agree, that's where I spend most of my money:)
And now Dawn, when you get your NEXT tattoo (since I'm sure you have several already), you can affirm yourself with the knowledge that you're doing it for your country :)
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